Interview

Who am I beneath this shell
At times I fear to peel it
Of the monsters lurking
The mistakes I repeat without fail
Dirty stinky fear
Of never being enough

They judge me without knowing
How sharp a failure feels
How sweet escape would be
Vindictive, malicious, cowardly
I think ahead to nothingness
But even that is fleeting

Anger boils down to scorching tears
Of inadequacy
Of disappointment
Of living through a moment that torments
Belittling already meager confidence
To force out a fighter I'm not sure exists

I end up in the dark again
Lack of air suffocating from within
Everything comes crashing down
Like dreams I never meant to have
Life on hold, begrudgingly waiting
Until I decide which shoe to drop